Will I ever feel like I can stop coming out?

King Princess
she/they 
Musician 

No.

Honestly, I’ve had a loooooot of time to think about this question. It hits me when I’m on stage and I see so many wonderful, young, queer people in the audience. Especially when someone in the crowd comes out during the show (which has actually happened before)

These moments remind me that I’m endlessly coming out and my gender is ever-changing.

There are some days where I’m like, “Let’s get these curves out to play,” There are other days where I’d prefer if there were no parts on my body at all. Just blank.

So, no, I don’t think you ever stop coming out, but isn’t that kind of beautiful? Maybe you’re like me and your gender is fluid. Maybe you’ve gotten older and realized something about yourself. Or, maybe the only thing that’s new is terminology that you didn’t have as a kid and you’re thinking, “Wait a second, that feels like me! I didn’t have that word, or phrase, or community, but now I do.” The trick is to be gentle with ourselves about all these changes.

P.S: Isn’t coming out just also….so weird? You’re basically saying, “Hey, family and friends, I wanna be intimate with this type of person.” Straight people don’t have to do that, it’s just implied. Gender also makes it even crazier. 

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Grant Knoche
he/him
Musician 

Love this question. Even though I’m already out, I still “come out” pretty often. I love sharing that side of my life—just not all the time. 

I first came out because I didn’t want to always have to worry. I was a dancer in school—jazz, tap, ballet, hip hop, everything. All it took was for someone to hear “ballet” to assume I was gay. I walked on eggshells trying to avoid giving them another reason to think it or say it. So, for me, I just had to come out to live my fullest life. As I mention in my song, FIRST HELLO, it was a new beginning. I was finally able to experience joys that only existed in a world where I was out.

These days, it’s more of a want to keep coming out. Every time I do, it gives someone else the chance to, just like another artist did for me. But does that mean I want to come out to every stranger that asks if my date is my friend?

Do I always have the energy to unpack other people’s assumptions of my life? Yeah, that might be my friend, but why would you assume that? 

You may never feel like you can stop coming out, and that can be a blessing in disguise. Your pride can inspire the same in others. But remember— it’s a privilege to see that side of you and it’s okay to protect your energy.

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