I’m a man and I matched with a woman. Any tips for when/if I share I’m bisexual?

Grant Knoche
he/him
Musician 

Since there are so many misconceptions about what it means to bisexual, I’ve wondered about the same exact thing. While not everyone thinks this way, so many people’s first thoughts are something like, “Does that mean you could be with a man and woman at the same time?” Or, “Are you sure you’re not just confused?” Even casual questions like which girl I think is the hottest on a show remind me being bisexual isn’t something everyone “gets” right away. 

I totally understand those who decide to keep their bisexuality private until they feel comfortable enough to share. If you’re someone who's decided to wait, I’d maybe bring it up within the first couple dates. In some situations, waiting a long time only puts more pressure on you and the person you’re telling, turning what could be a moment of deeper connection into something else. 

I prefer to be upfront. I spent a good portion of my life feeling shame and guilt around the topic of sexuality and I don’t want to let that affect my choices while dating in the future. Having my sexuality “visible” on my profile helps me and my dates avoid confusion. And while that kind of openness is hard at times,

putting everything on the table means I’m connecting with someone who truly understands, and wants to be with, all of me. It’s also a great way to build trust at the beginning of your relationship, which is super important.

I’m still fairly new to dating, and I’m still figuring things out. But one thing I do know? Everyone has their own journey and knows what works best for them. Trust your gut!

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