How do I explain to my family that pronouns don’t have to be that big of a deal?

Moe Ari Brown, LMFT
(they/he)
Hinge's Love and Connection Expert 

We don't have to explain our pronouns to anyone. There’s nothing that says that we’re obligated to do this. So first, I’d reframe it from explaining to inviting someone in to celebrate with us! 

If this is your first time having this conversation, invite your family into this process by sharing pronouns are a way people honor themselves and respect their identities.

Consciously choosing your pronouns is a part of the self-determination process. It's naming yourself for yourself, and deciding what's aligned and authentic. It’s important that all people, regardless of their identity, take time to do this.

You can also clear up the misconception that a change of pronouns means a change in your whole identity. Let family members know your pronouns don’t define who you are.

You might also want to lean into telling people what it feels like when you (or others) hear the right pronouns being used. “I feel loved. I feel seen. I feel respected. I feel honored.” Offering those feelings and experiences help other people understand why it matters to you, without it having to be a big deal. 

Finally, it's important to remember that while you’re inviting your family in by sharing your pronouns, you don’t have to share anything else at this time.

Follow Moe Ari Brown on Instagram and TikTok.
Have an NFAQ of your own? Submit it here.