Any tips for navigating my hopes and needs with someone who already has a primary partner?

Moe Ari Brown, LMFT
(they/he)
Hinge's Love and Connection Expert 

The first thing you have to understand is what you really want, both in and outside of this relationship. What are your own dating intentions? Do you want to date someone who has a primary partner? Even if you like someone a lot, it’s important to know ourselves before we begin a new dynamic.

We can be flexible, but if we aren’t honest about our hopes and needs, it won’t work. 

Next, you need a clear understanding of what primary partnership means for that person. For some people, a primary partner may be the only person they want to live, vacation, or embark on certain life milestones with, like having children. For others, that isn’t the case at all. A primary partner may just be someone with whom they share financial responsibilities. Getting clarity can help you navigate the situation while being supportive of your needs—and meeting them.

My third piece of advice is to be clear about how you want to be prioritized, dated, or whatever else your parameters may be. It’s only when we’re able to communicate that we have the best chance of getting our needs met. 

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