I want to be in a romantically monogamous, sexually non-monogamous relationship. How do I realistically go about this?

Moe Ari Brown, LMFT
(they/he)
Hinge's Love and Connection Expert 

Honesty must lead any conversation with potential partners. This kind of relationship requires you to be very clear about how you define romance versus intimacy. Be clear about the kind of relationship you want right out of the gate, and ask them in turn about the type of relationship they want.

Does only being romantic with one person mean only you and your partner can go on dates in public? Is only casual sex with others allowed? Does this mean you’ll only explore sexually together? Is giving someone flowers and wine when they come over romantic, or just thoughtful? These are all things to think about when setting parameters around romantic intimacy, because it really does differ from person to person. 

It takes time to define a relationship, and we may be dating other people before we do that.

It’s important to establish when you’ll define the relationship early on, so there’s a clear boundary for when you should stop being romantically involved with the other people in your life. 

These kinds of conversations will not only help you both see if you’re on the same page, they’ll also help you honor what you want as well as encourage someone else to be honest and honor what’s right for them, too.

Follow Moe Ari Brown on Instagram and TikTok.
Have an NFAQ of your own? Submit it here.