We made this for you, reader of these words
Reader, dater, person who agrees that the best way to get to know someone, is to spend quality time with them.
Except these days – it’s hard.
There are so many distractions around us. All the time.
(For instance, 78% of Hinge daters assume their date isn’t interested in them if they’re on their phone during their date.)
So we teamed up with our friends at the Foundation for Social Connection.
Together, we’ve come up with ideas on how to minimize distractions, so you can make better, more satisfying connections when you’re dating. Which is good for your physical and mental health too.
Below, you’ll find a range of distraction-free dating tips and dating ideas. They appear in separate sections so they’re nice and clear, and not distracting in any way.
Hinge’s Director of Relationship Science – Logan Ury (she/her)
Love & Connection Expert – Moe Ari Brown, LMFT (they/he)
Distraction-free dating tips
When you’re matching
Be clear about the kind of connection you’re after
Write what you’re after, as well as the qualities you’re looking for in a match on your profile. This way you’ll attract people looking for the same thing. “It’s a simple detail that can save time in the long run.” – Moe.
Be intentional with your matches
Don’t spread yourself too thin with too many matches. “Give each connection the time and space it needs to grow into something more, and see how you feel.” – Logan.
Remember to check in with yourself
Remember to ask yourself how you feel when you interact with a potential date. “Do I enjoy spending time with them? Do they have the qualities I’m after? Make sure to explore if the person is right for you.” – Moe.
When you’re messaging
Be curious, rather than make snap judgements
Keep a note of all the things you’d like to know more about. “I always encourage daters to ask, instead of assume.” – Logan.
Stay intentional, even when getting fewer matches
It can be frustrating when you’re not getting many responses. But stick with it. “When you get in touch with someone, send a thoughtful comment rather than just a like.” – Logan.
“Stick with your intentional approach. If you don’t, you’ll end up trying to make connections work even if you’re not sure you like them. That will lead to burnout.” – Moe.
When you’re on a date
Switch your phone to “do not disturb” and set it aside. “Leave wearable tech like smartwatches at home, or turn off notifications so you’re not distracted.” – Logan.
Share stories, not facts
Tell stories that reveal things about yourself, and actively listen when your date does the same. “The best first dates are about opening up, connecting, and sharing what’s really going on with you.” – Logan.
Give your dates “room to breathe”
Some people have things lined up right after their dates. Avoid doing this. It can be distracting when you’re constantly checking the time. “Instead, let your date be expansive.” – Logan.